Leta's grandson Don had just told her that he was engaged, and he was excited about it. In spite of his parents’ plan that he finish college and get a good job first, and her own hope that he would fully sow his wild oats before pursuing a rest of life-time romance, he had gone and asked his lovely girlfriend Patricia to marry him.
And they wanted to get married soon, he added pointedly. Leta deduced that it was going to be a rocky several months. But his telling her before he told his parents wasn’t all, and his purpose wasn’t to have her side with him for the inevitable conflict with her daughter and son-in-law.
“I wonder if you’ll loan me some money,” he asked.
She could tell he was anxious about asking her. Money was one of those forbidden topics in their family, much like sex or sharing hurt feelings. They had all lived through the Great Depression intact by whatever means they could, and now they lived as if there was a kind of shame in not having enough. When money was alluded to, it was only in the most casual way and even then in coded language after reading and interpreting several signals and hints. “Let me buy dinner.” Or “Here’s a couple of dollars for gas.” Or “I’ve been baking, and I brought you something.” Or most tellingly, “I bought two of these by accident and thought you could use one.” Certainly, they all talked about their bills and how they would never keep up. And all of these put together gave an indication of a person’s financial needs at any given time.
To ask plainly for money was a bold move, and she was interested in knowing more. She added milk to his glass and watched him intently.
“I told you that I asked Pat to marry me yesterday, and I gave her a ring,” he started, “ but the trouble is—it wasn’t a real ring.”
“What on earth do you mean?” she inquired.
“It was ring,” he clarified, “but it was a fake. I got it at Woolworth’s, and it’s all I could afford. But I really want to get her a nice ring, Grandma, with at least a diamond. She deserves it.”
He had stopped eating by this time, leaving half a cookie on his plate, and looked at her imploringly.
“So I’m wondering if you could loan me enough money to get a real one at a jewelry store.”
Leta had not seen him that sincere in a long time, not since he hit his arrogant teens and had his life further transformed by the births of his younger siblings. One of the reasons he stopped in so regularly, she believed, was to be in an environment, if only for a little while, where he was the only one. In his own home, he had to contend with an eight-year-old brother and six-year-old sister. The family he knew and felt comfortable in had been altered, leaving him more as an outsider than the beloved only child he had experienced for the first thirteen years of his life.
“I tell you what,” she said matter-of-factly, “I can loan you the money, but you have to promise to pay me back. You’ll do that, won’t you?”
His face brightened, and for a moment, she wondered if he only heard the first part.
“Thank you, thank you!” he gushed. “Of course I’ll pay you back. I’ll be getting a job and everything. You know, Uncle Dale’s getting me a job where he works at Dana, so I can.”
“That’s good,” she said, still using her business tone, but secretly smiling on the inside.
“And I have another favor,” he said. “Would you go with me to pick it out?”
Of course, she agreed, and they set a shopping date.
While they perused the options, she convinced him that the best purchase would be a combination of an engagement/wedding ring set for Patricia and a matching wedding ring for him. Initially, he balked at having a wedding ring, for, of course, his father refused to wear one. But Leta was resolute. She would only loan him the money for the entire package. She firmly believed her grandson needed to think more deeply about his own role in the marriage, that his wife was not there as an instrument or tool for him, but his partner. Wearing a ring would remind him to keep his heart and attention where it belonged.
And the marriage did take place. It was a lovely ceremony and large event. A bit too large for Leta’s taste but her son-in-law was quite prominent in the community, and that required a bit of ostentation. The groom was handsome and thrilled. The bride looked terrified, but beautiful. Sometimes, she noted, life was simply good.
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