Vivian Faye Chetister married Edward Roy Metzker on September
5, 1936. She was 23 years old, and he was 22. He was working as a glass cutter,
and she was employed as a secretary. They had planned on a simple ceremony with
the justice of the peace, and then a family dinner afterwards. Their families
had other ideas. Vivian’s grandmother, the imperious Ida Chetister, who had
raised the young bride since she was in high school, and Ed’s devoted Christian
mother Anna, insisted that they have a formal church marriage.
“It doesn’t have to be costly,” Ida said, “but without God’s
blessing the marriage is nothing more than a piece of paper.” Ida’s reaction
was a surprise to both of them, for during the several months of their
courtship, she had badgered Vivian regularly for having Ed spend money on her at
a film or to eat. “Don’t forget there’s a Depression going on,” she’d say. “Ed
could use that money to buy himself something important, like a pair of socks.”
As strict and merciless as she was with Vivian, Ida still
wanted a proper marriage for her granddaughter. She pestered her son, Vivian’s
father Ralph, for the funding for a wedding meal. Anna and her husband/Ed’s
father William paid the church costs and for a portrait of the married couple,
and Leta bought Vivian a new dress and shoes. Ida used her own secret money,
which she kept in a small canvas bad at the bottom of her flour canister, to
purchase the flowers. Edward bought his own new suit.
It was a simple ceremony at Ed’s family’s Lutheran church. Both
of their families were in attendance, as well as a few friends. After the
ceremony, many of them continued the festivities at Vivian’s grandparents’
home, where she and her younger brother Dale still lived with their father.
As mother of the bride, Leta sat in the front pew for the
ceremony. Her son Dale and brother Aaron and his family sat with her, all but
her niece Lucille who had eloped two years earlier, much to the dismay of her
own parents. Ralph, Ida and Ida’s husband Lewis sat behind them. Leta wanted to
say that she could hear Ida sniffling throughout the brief ceremony, but she
was too busy with her own tears and sniffles to notice. If Leta had never felt
much love for her daughter before this (although she most definitely had), all
of her maternal being spent the fifteen minutes of the ceremony in deep
devotion and total adoration. Ed’s parents, grandparents and younger sister
Doris sat in the pew opposite.
Following the service, the guests made their way to the Chetister
house a few miles away in East Toledo for the wedding meal, which Ida had
prepared.
For the three weeks prior to the occasion, Leta struggled with
whether or not she should attend the celebration. She had not been in her
former in-laws home since before she divorced their son. She was not welcome
there, When she spent time with her children, she always met them elsewhere.
Even as a high school student, Vivian was comfortable boarding streetcars to
meet her. She knew that she was still not welcome. After being divorced for 14
years, and even through a brief second marriage, Ralph resented her. His
parents would not even look at her. Why
would she? she asked herself again and again, Why would she put herself in a position where she would be treated
poorly?
The answer was simple: for her daughter’s happiness. This was
Vivian’s wedding celebration. She was the mother. It was proper for her to
attend whether her former husband and his parents objected or not. If they did
not want her in their home, then they could have had the party elsewhere. She
had Dale accompany her, and she went. She kissed and hugged her beautiful
daughter and shook hands with the handsome groom. They had beer and a roast and
cake. She was careful to have only two bottles of beer, because she knew that
everyone was watching her alcohol intake. She stayed until it was possible for
her to leave.
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